It's Christmas right now for Miss Emmy. Merry
Christmas, sweet girl!
I had a very strange but kind of beautiful dream
last night. I was watching two of our kids play sports (Noah was in a
soccer game and Grace was trying her hand at softball) and suddenly noticed a
small, egg-shaped rock laying next to me. I picked the rock up turned it
over and tossed it to the ground. When the rock fell, it cracked on one
side and inside I saw a tiny, full grown, beautiful duck in the egg sack.
Her eyes were closed when I first looked at her but, as I continued to
look at her and feel awful about cracking her egg, they opened to reveal very
soulful, kind and beautiful blue eyes. She pushed through the egg sack
with her beak and emerged. I felt awful about her emerging from the egg
sack because she looked so content in there. Before me sat a very tiny,
very lovely, very white duck. I asked her why she was in the egg since
she was obviously fully-grown. She responded, "I enjoy a quiet,
peaceful life in my egg." At that moment, I was filled with a huge
amount of peace and woke up wishing that I could sleep longer and spend some
more time with that duck. Strange dream. Not sure what it was
about. Sure enjoyed the peacefulness, though.
We leave in one week and one day to head to China
and meet our girl. It's a bit of a frenzied time; packing for China,
checking and rechecking our paperwork, preparing for Christmas and
celebrations… Sometimes I wish I could climb in the egg with the duck and
hole up in the peace. But I remember some wise person at college saying
that peace is something that is deep within us during the frenzy. It
doesn't go away but sometimes we catch glimpses of its beauty. Like yesterday when we were eating spaghetti
at the counter and I was struck by how blessed I am with these wonderful people
to go through life with. Or last week when I picked my kiddos up from a
chorale concert and burst into tears because we are so blessed to have the
amazing chorale staff and wonderful chorale families in our kids' lives.
Or when I find bags and boxes of clothes and toys for Emmy on our porch.
Or when our good friends throw showers for Emmy and I watch my children's
faces as they realize how very loved and anticipated they were, too. Or
when the kids and Steve (attempt to) sleep under the tree on Christmas Eve Eve.
Or when we go to the premiere of the movie that we had the privilege to
film this summer and it's a beautiful movie and I feel like I brought my little
loaves and fishes and God turned them in to a feast. Or when I think back
over the last six months of cleaning the gym as I do it for the last time and
realize what a divine appointment it has been and how very much I've gained
from it. I look around at the amazing people that we are surrounded by
and realize the immense blessing it is to be in their lives and to have them in
ours. I realize that I may be combining peace and gratitude here but
maybe they are a team. Can you have
peace without gratitude? Wouldn't you
constantly be wanting something more and miss out on the beauty that God has
placed right in front of you?
Advent is a waiting time. A time when Mary
was pregnant with Jesus…big pregnant, uncomfortable pregnant. The world
waits in anticipation for this tiny baby savior. And then he arrives in
the beautiful messiness that is birth. We originally thought that Emmy
would be home before Christmas and, I have to admit, I was a little
disappointed when that wasn't going to happen. But now, having gone
through advent with Emmy in China and us here, I think maybe I get the
timing…at least a little bit. For three years I have been praying, among
other things, for God to prepare our new little one's heart for us as He
prepares our hearts for her. And Christmas
is fun for us because these traditions (frenzied as they are) are our
traditions. They have become a part of who we are as a family and who we
are as individuals. But for Emmy they, like everything else here, are
foreign and scary and new. And when we go in a week and a day and
Christmas decorations are safely packed in their boxes and life has returned to
normal, well...as normal as our family does it, there will be less to adjust
to. So this year maybe Emmy is the beautiful little duck being prepared
for life in a family, in our family. And next year, advent will be her
advent, too. She will be part of the decorating the house, putting up the
tree, singing carols, sleeping under the tree, going to concerts, opening
presents, going to Christmas eve services (and maybe even being a lamb in them)
and the traditions will become a part of her as she will have become a part of
us…as she is a part of us.
Merry Christmas to Emmy and to all of you.
Blessings for peace in your heart as you celebrate with the ones you love.
Mandy
No comments:
Post a Comment